So it’s the day before my Whole30 starts. What does that mean? Well, because I’m irresponsible and have poor impulse control, it means I’ve been eating poorly for the past couple of days. There may have been pizza. And ice cream. And beer. And gin.
So I’ve been sick to my stomach, which is normal, for me, if I eat gluten and dairy. It’s a known risk. A consequence I expect and accept, now and then, in the face of deliciousness. “I deserve this!” I tell myself. “I deserve pizza before I re-commit to 30 days of strict paleo!”
But, as usual, stressing my system out this way has more far-reaching consequences. Especially when my immune system was trying to battle a head cold that was going around before I decided to batter the crap out of it with foods that freak it out.
So, yeah, now I’m sick. Very sick. Sicker than I ever remember being with a cold. And being a good little cavegirl, I know that the best way to beat it is to just take care of myself, get some rest, and let my body fight it without trying to eliminate all the symptoms. But then it was 5 in the morning and I’d hardly slept a wink, and I remembered the Neocitron in the bathroom cabinet…
So now I’m drugged up, still miserable (although less so), and I have a house full of amazing food that is not easy to eat. Nothing is instant, nothing is easy. I have prepped myself for days of home-cooked-from-scratch meals, but all I want is somebody to just feed me a sandwich or something. Furthermore, I have completely lost my sense of taste. As if I’m going to waste some beautiful in-season organic peaches when all I get from them is a slight tingly sensation of tartness in my mouth. ALL of my food is too good to eat in a state like this! Bananas are sad mush. Raspberries are pleasant still, with aggressive tartness and pleasant sweetness, but I can’t bring myself to eat them when I know how much of their flavour I’m missing. Everything is sad, sad, sad, and I just want to sleep, but I wake myself up in a pool of drool every 15 minutes.
Anyway, so this is my sob story. But for the record, the Whole30 starts tomorrow, as scheduled. Because if there’s one thing I’ve figured out, it’s that the quality of food I eat massively affects how healthy I feel. And I could certainly use some wellness in my life right now instead of sitting around feeling sorry for myself. It’s hard to do anything good for yourself when you’re feeling beaten down and pathetic and mad at yourself. But it’s important. It’s always important.
I just hope to hell that when I dig into a delicious breakfast of bacon, eggs, zucchini, and berries tomorrow, it tastes like something more than just salt and sour.